funny quotes for shirts

















Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister. ~Bob Irwin



For several moments both of us were the unconscious and cosmic toys of our own deception. ~"The Mission," Chapter 4



You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend. ~Paul Sweeney



I would ask something more of this world, if it had something more. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock. ~Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates," Side Effects, 1980



If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library? ~Lily Tomlin



Life has been reduced to getting food out of cans. ~Martin H. Fischer



When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. ~Maurice Maeterlinck, Wisdom and Destiny, 1901, translated by Alfred Sutro



Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Happiness? That's nothing more than health and a poor memory. ~Albert Schweitzer



There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



You can't fall off the floor. ~Author Unknown



Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia



Men are at war with each other because each man is at war with himself. ~Francis Meehan



Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation. ~Ogden Nash



You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant. ~Martin H. Fischer



I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. ~Arthur Rubinstein



In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? - the cuckoo clock. ~Graham Greene & Orson Wells, The Third Man, movie



It was as though he had cut up the sky, melted down a flower garden, tossed in some jewels and made it into glass. ~Hugh McKean, this is not referring to jewelry but to Tiffany's glass



Any man can hold a girl's hand, but only the elite can hold her feet. ~Author Unknown



I felt that one had better die fighting against injustice than to die like a dog or rat in a trap. I had already determined to sell my life as dearly as possible if attacked. I felt if I could take one lyncher with me, this would even up the score a little bit. ~Ida B. Wells

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